The D'ni people believed that marriage was important and considered a lifetime commitment. It was also an important part of a relationship with Yahvo as it taught and revealed the necessary requirements for taygahn. As such, all citizens were expected to marry.
For the momst part the individuals made the decisions although there were rare arranged marriages. Because of its importance, and regarding the D'ni lifespan of 300 years, it was not taken lightly and rarely rushed into. Marriage was not permitted before the age of 25 (Age of Reason) and marriage between blood relatives was strictly forbidden. Marriage between the D'ni classes was looked down upon, but permittable.[1]
In 2262 the day when the Ahlsendar's Plague was announced cured, King Hemelin wed Lalen in a grand ceremony. As a result, the day became a day often chosen for marriage in later years.[2]
Ceremony[]
The marriage ceremony itself took over 5 days. Attendance to those sections of the ceremony was extremely important, and failure to attend was considered a disgrace.
The process started the evening before, with a small ceremony held at the home of the groom or his parents, meant to confirm the mutual decision in front of their immediate family. The groom presented a gift representing the confirmation of his choice, and the bride acknowledged her decision by accepting it. She was then escorted away with her family and the couple would not meet again until the Fifth Day.
- The First Day was set aside for the bride and groom to spend time with their respective families. It had the character of a farewell ceremony, since the old family won't be the highest priority any more. The day ended with a large meal, speeches and blessings from the parents to the child.
- The Second Day was set-aside for the bride and groom to spend with friends, married and unmarried. One of the friends would host a large dinner at the end of the day.
- The Third Day was reserved for spending time with each other's families. The bride and groom received blessings from their in-laws, parents and other members of the family. The day ended with a larger meal marked by speeches.
- The Fourth Day was meant for spending time alone with Yahvo individually. It was often filled with prayer asking for purification, blessings upon the event and meditating on Yahvo's desires for their lives together. Sometimes the day was spent with priests or prophets, reading the Holy Books, or alking to Yahvo himself. Some considered this day a formality.
- The Day of Joining begun with physical preparation and the Joining Ceremony took place in another Age (such as a "Marriage Age") for the later part of the day, during which the hands of the couple are ceremonially tied together. Following it, families usually fed all the attendees in celebration with dancing and music. The couple had their hands united throughout the night as a reminder of the joining, and the fact that there would be difficult times to their relationship. Tradition was for the couple to embrace and the priestess to touch a Linking Book to them so that they would both link to "vacation" Ages.[1]
Married life[]
The husband usually abstained for work for up to a year after the wedding, in order to build the new marriage.
The cord used during the Ceremony was a sacred item, and afterwards it was used in different ways; from wearing them as necklaces to hanging them in their house.[1]
Owing to the limited fertility of D'ni women (only one yahr every two vileetee), pregnacy was a very special and celebrated event among the family. There was prayer to Yahvo, blessings from the family members, including vows to care for the woman and child through the pregnancy, which lasted for a complete hahr. Pregnant women were believed to be much more insightful and part of the pregnancy experience was religious meditation to gain revelation and guide themselves to the child's future and is purpose.[3]
Until children reached the Age of Reason, parents were accountable (both socially and religiously) for their actions. It was not advised to have at the same time more than one child younger than 25 years old.[4]
Other notes[]
King Hinash was the first King, if not the first D'ni, to marry and Outsider.[5] King Lemashal was the second King who did so, and also had children, sparkling a conroversy.[6] During the last millennium before the Fall of D'ni, some called the mixing of D'ni blood with outsiders a travesty, some considered that a child who marries an outsider was better off dead to his parents.
Despite having a lifespan of 3 centuries, the D'ni rarely had more than 4 children, because of the women's limited fertility, and also because it was adviseable to have a child no sooner than every 25 years. King Veesha fathered 5 children, considered a large number.[7] King Tejara is said that he fathered an exorbitant number of 12 sons and 7 daughters with his lovers (although he officially had 3 sons).[8]
Given to his extreme religous view, Veesha forced into law a number of strict guidelines pertaining to marriage and adultery.[7]
King Ji was the first and only King who ever had a divorce, with Milane.[9]
Unmarried women who became pregnant were expected to marry immediately. Any child conceived out of wedlock was unable to join a Guild for its entire life; especially bad for a lower class child as he would not be able to make it to the the upper class.[3]